Fever Dreams of My Childhood

Just a suggestion to all of the baby calendar makers: if you are going to make us use stickers, please make the stickers easy to remove. I called that son of a whore teddy bear on the front every name I could think of and I don't feel bad about it. Every time I look at my half ripped or crinkled stickers I get filled with blinding rage... it's at this point that my father says, "You never were very good at stickers," and then my mind goes blank.  I think, you never fail to remind me of that dad. I know you, your father, and his father before that were national sticker placing champions but that doesn't mean I'm a failure, like you always say! I remember you'd come by when I was placing stickers and if they were 2 degrees askew, just 2 and you would measure, you'd say, "amateurish", look me dead in the eyes with that cold heartless stare of yours and rip it in half, never taking your serial killer-esque stare from my eyes. But not me. Not me dad! The cycle ends now! My son will be allowed to have his stickers more than the nationally accepted 1.9 degree acceptable variance range. And there is nothing you can say about it! The cycle ends now dad! IT ENDS NOW!